1200 word post

It was a cool Autumn day in October, and I had just gotten into my dad’s car after a soccer game against our rival Upper St. Claire. I remember looking at my dad and noticing he was not acting like himself. He is usually a really happy funny guy, but in this particular moment he seemed very somber. I tried talking to him about the game however he seemed distant and distracted. This is when I noticed that he had two identical Nokia phones sitting in the cup holder of his car. Obviously, I thought this was a little strange, and in an effort to make some conversation I asked him why he had two phones. This seemingly simple question set my dad off into an extremely serious mood. He turned to me, drew a deep breath and said, “I split from the agency.” My dad had just left his job and was now putting the entire family’s wellbeing at risk. At the time I knew it was serious, but being only fourteen-years-old I do not think I understood the magnitude of the situation. Sure people leave their jobs to start their own businesses all the time, but this case was much more complicated. My dad’s old boss just happened to be his father-in-law, my mom’s dad. This broken business partnership would go on to change to the landscape of my family relations forever.

I would arrive at my house to my mom with tears streaming down her face. This was a strange sight to me because I had hardly ever seen my mom full-out crying. She was heartbroken over the breakup, but knew that it had to be done. For years my dad was essential running the company. For years he had tried to get the succession plan written on paper, but my grandpa refused and stalled. My dad also wanted his name attached to the company so it would be called Coyne, Berry Advertising and Public Relations. My grandpa being the stubborn man that he is objected to this unless my dad paid him some ridiculous sum of money.

I found it somewhat surprising that my grandpa would be so unreasonable about this. As someone who had split from an agency in the past to start his own, I thought he would realize what was at stake. He knew the risks that would be associated with losing my dad, but he continued to hold up a stubborn front. I think this has entirely to do with his personal pride. He likes to think of himself as a self-made man who was able to rise out of the steel environment of 1950s’ Pittsburgh and become very successful. He was the son of Irish immigrants, his dad a steel worker in the mills, and he grew up as a member of the lower class. With hard work, dedication and stubbornness he was able to get himself through college and into the working world. I have a sneaking suspicion that my grandpa did not respect my dad as much because they never had to experience that. I think he may have thought my dad was handed too much in life and that he did not know the value of hard work. On the other hand, this is entirely untrue. My dad is the hardest working person I have ever seen. This has been extremely apparent since he has started to run his own business.

Anyways, apparently negotiations had been taking place all that week unbeknownst to me. However, these negotiations only made the whole breakup even uglier as my grandpa threatened to take away country club memberships, my dad’s car, and access to his condo in Florida. My mom is an intelligent and realistic person so she knew she had to stand behind my dad and support him through these trying times. The entire ordeal had to be the roughest on her. It pitted her husband against her father and she had to pick a side. I cannot imagine having to face this situation and knowing that if you pick your spouse, your father may never speak to you again. This would be a terrible situation and one that I would do anything to avoid. To make the whole thing more complicated, my dad planned on taking a lot of his clients with him. He had his eyes on ten potential clients to take with him, and I think he ended up with nine of them when it was all said and done. This added business aspect of the dispute would only further strain the already fragile existence of the relationship between my immediate family and my grandpa.

The biggest question surrounding the fallout was what would happen with our family outside of the business atmosphere. Would we still have Easter brunch together? Would my grandpa be there to celebrate our birthdays? Overtime the answers to these questions would surface. At first it was as if my grandpa conveniently scheduled vacations to avoid family get-togethers. That first Christmas he was in Florida and when it came time for my birthday in May, he was in Hawaii. Was this coincidence or was it pre-planned? To the day I still don’t know but I suspect it was premeditated. As time would go on, things would be come more and more normal, or at least more normal for everyone in my family outside of my dad. There is definitely still tension between the two. It is an unspoken tension, but one that we can all notice. My grandpa started to do things with my brothers and I again. He would take my middle brother and I golfing. He even entered himself and my brother, Sean, in a father-offspring golf tournament. As for me, he gave me his hat that was signed by Mario Lemieux and Jaromir Jagr. This meant a lot to me because it was something that I had always wanted from the time when I was little. When I was younger I had even laid claim to it upon his death. As horrible as that is, that’s how much I wanted that hat. Sadly this peace was short lived. A couple of months ago during break the feud erupted again. Once again, business got in the way of personal relationships. Hopefully, this riff in the relations will be resolved, and things can get back on track once again.

This personal dispute is just one of the conflicts that has taken place within my family. Differences in personalities, beliefs, and personal taste have all lead to some memorable fights in the past. Some of these are funny to look back on while others are side reminders of what could have been. In the extended version of this post, I want to dive deeper into some of these family conflicts.